8 Bad Habits to Avoid in Romantic Relationships
You’ve been dating someone for a while, and you’ve started forming some unhealthy romantic relationships habits. These habits, if you don’t take note and change them, can have the power to destroy your relationship.
Here’s what the professional relationship experts say are the negative patterns you should break before you take the relationship deeper.
1: Expecting your partner to read your mind.
Stop believing you should get what you want without having to ask. Remember as a child you had no problems asking for what you wanted. The same is true now. Your partner is not a mind reader, and neither are you. Asking is a sign of strength.
2: Trying to make your partner jealous as a punishment or to get their attention.
This is a sign of insecurity and lack of self-confidence. It undermines the relationship. Instead talk about your frustration or need to be seen.
3: Constantly needing to hear your partner say they love you.
If you are constantly asking them if they love you makes you seem insecure (you might want to examine that) and pressures your partner in a way that keeps them from wanting to share genuine moments of expressing love.
4: Stuck in a boring routine.
If your idea of fun is watching TV or going out to the local restaurant occasionally, you need to reexamine your idea of adventure. Start having more adventures. Break up the routine by stepping out of your comfort zone. Take a canoe or camping trip together, spend a few weeks in a foreign city or volunteer together in some needy locale.
5: The blame game.
Some couples of a habit of blaming each other for their own mistakes no matter what. This is toxic to your relationship because when you are so busy defending yourself and blaming the other, you lose the chance to be kind and feel close. Take responsibility for your own actions for an emotionally healthy relationship.
6: Constantly checking your phone while with your partner.
This says disconnected more than anything. When both of you are gazing into the eyes of your phone at dinner or snuggled on the couch, you are distancing yourself from each other. Make your “We” time count by putting away the electronics.
7: Using threat of leaving when things in the relationship get tough.
When you are losing a fight or struggling with a complicated issue, don’t threaten to leave the relationship. Instead view the problems as issues for both of you to address together. There are exceptions of course (like when abuse is part of the problem), but otherwise commit to the relationship by not threatening to bail as soon as a rough patch comes along.
8: Not trusting your partner about where they’ve been and with whom.
Grilling them about their where abouts and who they are hanging out with leaves your partner feeling like you don’t trust them, makes them angry, and hurt. Don’t grill them like the prosecuting attorney. Instead they will share with you if they want. Back off and try to have conversations that show you genuinely want to learn about their day.
Summing Up
It’s easy to get into these bad patterns, but not always so easy to get out, so avoid these as much as possible. But if you do catch yourself getting back into a bad habit, just take a moment to yourself, regroup and come back when you’re refreshed.
Click here for an article published in GoodMenProject.com, “17 Life Lessons on Love, Dating and Relationships”. A good read, it jibes with our article, and you’ll enjoy it.
